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Ten Years Gone

July 7, 2011

Ten years.  I can’t believe it’s been 10 YEARS since my husband and I said “I do.” It feels like forever.  But it also feels like yesterday.





I read recently somewhere that we bloggers write a lot about babies and families but we don’t write so much about our marriages.  I guess I don’t because I’ve always kept our relationship pretty private – even with my closest girlfriends.  Also, because my husband deserves some anonymity.  


But he and I have been through some major ups and downs.  Stuff that probably would be best if shared with others.  Not just so we can vent but for advice and guidance.


I dug out an old college essay, written in 2003 – two years into our wedded bliss.  The prompt was “What is love?” The professor was looking for a response reflective of our true experiences.  Mine was titled “Will Work for Love.”  Here’s a couple of horribly written excerpts with my 2011 spin.


“Will Work for Love” [or how about a "hello?"]


Love is simply hard work. Ideally, I would like to believe that love is always rosy and romantic – but realistically – love is demanding. Love is like a newborn baby, screaming for someone to take hold of it, care for it and love it back [Lamest metaphor, ever! I had no idea what newborns needed as I was five years from having my own baby and she sure as hell needed more than that!].


[I describe an unrealistic romantic scenario] 
My husband surprises me by drawing a warm bath [for our kid, not me] laced with ["Cranky and Overtired"] bubble bath. The counter top of the bathroom is adorned with lit candles [or make-up, hair brushes, empty cups, and Advil] and music trickles from the iPod [this is true but it's "Sing with Barney"].  We’ve polished off a savory meal [chicken nuggets and noodle tubes], which I prepared [naturally], and the dishwasher is humming away quietly [the dishwasher is actually clean and needs to be emptied and the sink is full of dirty dishes]. He gently kisses me on the cheek. I give him a sly wink and unbutton his shirt and then I realize… [that this is a sad fantasy]


[And now here's our reality]
Instead, it’s more like me rushing home from the dog park with our under-exercised pooch [poor dog doesn't get to go to the dog park anymore, let alone a walk around the neighborhood.  Add flying a kite, riding a scooter, playing "Dora" with our 3-year-old and now you have my typical afternoon], just in time to grunt hellos with my husband, whip up some leftovers [check], and retire – he in front of the television and me with my homework [iPhone.  And some things never change].


[Finally, the pièce de résistance]
I see love as two separate spinning tops, but with hard work, the two rotating tops have the potential to spin together in perfect sync [excuse me, I have throw up in my mouth].


Here’s the deal.  I got an A on this crap paper.  But, I meant what I wrote about love being hard work.  Damn, add marriage and children to that and it can be a downright struggle somedays.  He’s a good guy though.  Scratch that, he’s a great guy, who has stuck by me in sickness and in health and in good times and bad.  Our marriage deserves to be written about!





Here’s to another ten!

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