Ten years. I can’t believe it’s been 10 YEARS since my husband and I said “I do.” It feels like forever. But it also feels like yesterday.
I read recently somewhere that we bloggers write a lot about babies and families but we don’t write so much about our marriages. I guess I don’t because I’ve always kept our relationship pretty private – even with my closest girlfriends. Also, because my husband deserves some anonymity.
But he and I have been through some major ups and downs. Stuff that probably would be best if shared with others. Not just so we can vent but for advice and guidance.
I dug out an old college essay, written in 2003 – two years into our wedded bliss. The prompt was “What is love?” The professor was looking for a response reflective of our true experiences. Mine was titled “Will Work for Love.” Here’s a couple of horribly written excerpts with my 2011 spin.
“Will Work for Love” [or how about a "hello?"]
Love is simply hard work. Ideally, I would like to believe that love is always rosy and romantic – but realistically – love is demanding. Love is like a newborn baby, screaming for someone to take hold of it, care for it and love it back [Lamest metaphor, ever! I had no idea what newborns needed as I was five years from having my own baby and she sure as hell needed more than that!]
[I describe an unrealistic romantic scenario]
My husband surprises me by drawing a warm bath [for our kid, not me] laced with ["Cranky and Overtired"] bubble bath. The counter top of the bathroom is adorned with lit candles [or make-up, hair brushes, empty cups, and Advil] and music trickles from the iPod [this is true but it's "Sing with Barney"]. We’ve polished off a savory meal [chicken nuggets and noodle tubes], which I prepared [naturally], and the dishwasher is humming away quietly [the dishwasher is actually clean and needs to be emptied and the sink is full of dirty dishes]. He gently kisses me on the cheek. I give him a sly wink and unbutton his shirt and then I realize… [that this is a sad fantasy].
[And now here's our reality]
Instead, it’s more like me rushing home from the dog park with our under-exercised pooch [poor dog doesn't get to go to the dog park anymore, let alone a walk around the neighborhood. Add flying a kite, riding a scooter, playing "Dora" with our 3-year-old and now you have my typical afternoon], just in time to grunt hellos with my husband, whip up some leftovers [check], and retire – he in front of the television and me with my homework [iPhone. And some things never change].
[Finally, the pièce de résistance]
I see love as two separate spinning tops, but with hard work, the two rotating tops have the potential to spin together in perfect sync [excuse me, I have throw up in my mouth].
Here’s the deal. I got an A on this crap paper. But, I meant what I wrote about love being hard work. Damn, add marriage and children to that and it can be a downright struggle somedays. He’s a good guy though. Scratch that, he’s a great guy, who has stuck by me in sickness and in health and in good times and bad. Our marriage deserves to be written about!
Here’s to another ten!