My friend Eileen might be nuts. You must read this and tell me if I’m right.
On Monday – the day after New Years Day – while the guys gathered in the family room watching the Rose Bowl game, the girls gabbed over chardonnay about our annual desert trip. With football jeers and wild kids at our feet, the conversation turned and I hear Eileen say that she wants to gather a group of close girlfriends and have them anonymously write out on slips of paper what she should change about herself.
“Oh, hell no!” I shout. I ask why she would ever open herself to that sort of criticism. She doesn’t think that her friends will be critical though. Instead, helpful. Like tell her she needs to change the color of her hair or buy better fitting jeans. My brain works at rapid speed sometimes and I instantly envision throwing myself off a bridge after being subjected to such scrutiny.
Her sister sided with me. And sometimes I think her and I share the same brain – or at least the same taste in terrible made-for-TV-movies. She starts to reference a flick from the ’90’s called “Dying to Belong” where pledges of a college sorority are made to walk around in hideously high wasted panties and matching bra sets as the sisters circle every inch of flab, cheese, and stretch mark on their asses. This, my friends, is why I never joined a sorority. I was scared straight.
Anyway, my friend Eileen is perfect the way she is but her idea is not. Do you have any desire to hear from your friends that your highlights look like “stripper stripes” or that you are not rocking those mom jeans? I’m not against someone suggesting to me that I should opt for a different pair of shoes instead of my go-to flip flops or that I should change up my lip gloss. But I would never ask for it. For someone like myself – with lifelong body image issues – I think it would be so severely detrimental to my mental well-being.
So is Eileen nuts? Or would you stand to be judged by your closest girlfriends?