I KNOW you’ve all just been dying to read about my on-camera interview for ABC’s The Revolution, right? My apologies for keeping you hang longer than I had planned. Life interrupted, you know? So…the casting couch. Yes, there was one. When I asked how comfortable I could get on it, one of the girls who was getting the camera ready joked that it wasn’t “that kind of casting couch.” I meant could I sit criss-cross-applesauce or not. True story.
It was just how you would imagine. The room was no bigger than a broom closet. Two casting directors sat behind a video camera. One took notes while the other asked the questions. I sat on the green love seat and tried to “keep the energy up” – sage advice from my dad who once auditioned for The Dating Game. The casting directors were very sweet and showered me with lovely compliments like “the camera loves you.” Uh, I’ve seen myself on home video and love has nothing to do with it! We talked at length about my goals and what I’d like to do after my revolution. My shallow answers included 1) wearing a bikini (mind you, I have not worn a bikini since I was probably nineteen and I don’t know if I should have been wearing one then) and 2) play in the pool with my daughter. The latter is more important than the bikini as I explained how I turn down play dates and birthday parties that include a pool because this fat ass does not do bathing suits around my slim friends. Thus, my girl misses out.
The hardest part of the interview was remembering to answer in complete sentences. Like anyone, I’m used to just responding to the question asked. But answering in complete sentences – such as Q: Why do you want to be on The Revolution? A: I want to be on The Revolution because… – is a better clip for the producers to use in editing. And speaking of editing, fingers crossed they don’t edit me into some nutty housewife!
We hugged it out after it was over and I was sent home with an assignment. I am to record a home video day-in-the-life-diary of myself to send to producers. I just don’t know how exciting house chores, doctor appointments, and grocery shopping can be.